Charlie had a mission
Charlie had a quest
Charlie had a question that stumped the very best
How do I get a girl close enough to me
To make her mine perpetually
Charlie never got an answer that he used
But due his results he should be excused
Charlie had a mission
Charlie had a dream
Charlie had ambition like you have never seen
Charlie had one driving goal in his life
To get a woman close enough to him to make her his wife
He had plenty of shots at the opposite sex
But he always uttered a pessimistic hex
Wrong time wrong place
Wrong person wrong clothes
And to top it off you got a funny nose
Charlie hung at bookstores
Charlie hung at bars
He could make a book for his emotional scars
Charlie thought that he had reached the end of his rope
When a leggy blonde masqueraded by as hope
Charlie staked his life in this, his last attempt
He strutted up beside her and grumbled "ahem!"
Charlie got a girl
Charlie got a gal
Charlie was a squirrel she was his peanut pal
They did everything together both day and night
And despite cohabitation they rarely had a fight
But Charlie's dame was a Camaro who soon became a hearse
That's when Charlie uttered the familiar curse