I love cheese, but it's plain to see That cheese... Doesn't love me I am such a fool in love I just cannot get enough But it's an unrequited love I can feel it in my guts
I spend the nights, tossing and turning My stomach is churning My heart is a-burning My nightmares are turning upon me and shame me To drive me insane, oh the pain, I complain, on my brain And I wake up, with sweat on my brow I know I gotta give it up and I must do it now But instead in the morning when my wife is gone I find myself back on
And I know that it's wrong but I'm soon navigating To real mature stuff and skanky old ladies Feeding my fetish for fettered old fetta Photos of friesian on beds of bruschetta The worse they smell, the more they swing The faster the speed, my mouth gets wet, oh god
Oh god, oh god!
'Cept perhaps last night's half-wheel of post-midnight double cream brie Trying to replace my fondues with fon-don'ts Trying to develop strength of will, but I know that I won't I have found love is never fair We should be such a marvellous pair But each time I bring her home she goes and renders me comatose And leaves me with self loathing slumped on my chair
I cannot camen-bear it anymore E-damn you, mon amour Everytime I lead you through the door I end up curled up on the floor Oh god, my poor heart is too sore, so no more
But before I give you up, I just need one more tiny taste To leave you like this, would be a criminal waste Just one more tiny taste, darling please Just one more little sliver of C-H-E-E-S-E Cheese!