Ladies, listen up this song is for you You know it's hard out there to find a dude But The Lonely Island's got three top-notch brothers So sit back and listen while they compliment each other
My man 'Kiv is the shit Dude is thoughtful as fuck, plus his body is ripped He's a good listener even when he's exhausted And he's crazy hygienic, always brushing and flossing
But that ain't nothing compared to my main man Jorm' The most sensitive, caring dude I've ever known He's got that sweet smile, he's got that slow touch What's the sweet smell? Oh shit, he cooked you brunch!
But hold up, my man Andy's got us both beat! He makes a skinny margarita that's a wonderful treat Plus caramel eyes that are hella disarming He ain't no fucking Prince my man is King Charming
Jor' you're far to kind, and speaking of kindness My man 'Kiv's been diagnosed with colorblindness He loves all people, plus he's got the fat dick It's like a gold prick, all shiny and thick
When they pitched me this song, they were kinda vague But I said "fuck it, I'm in" cause they said I'd get paid One thing's for sure, these dudes are weird motherfuckers So kick back and listen, watch 'em compliment each other
My man Jorm' fucks all night Call him Super Mario, cause he be laying the pipe He got the eye contact like only you in the room A modern-thinking man, he ain't afraid of a broom
Yo, you talking feminism? Andy loves that shit Plus the femme fatales love him cause he's got good dick And he's a giver: donates hella money to charity He's also got a great sense of humor that's personality
I hate to interrupt, but I gotta interject 'Kiv grinds his own espresso, has his own panini press
'Kiv! So loyal when he makes his pick That he'll only think of you when he's jacking his dick
He's a shoulder to cry on when you're down in the dumps He's an outfit to try on when you need a slam dunk He's an extra stirring hand when you're making a soup Take a ride in his coupe, he makes you wanna shoop
I'm starting to suspect that these dudes are gay It's none of my business, they just born this way I mean, how many times you gon' mention your homie's dick But still try to act like this song is for chicks? So ladies be warned before you hop under the covers They might be fucking you but they'll be thinking 'bout each other The compliments, bitch!