Everybody says I'm paranoid
They all think I'm crazy
They all smile to my face
But they'd like to see me die

They put poison in my coffee
They put ground glass in my oatmeal
They put spiders in my tennis shoes
And shit in my pecan pie

It's hard to stop and figure out
Where it all began
You see, my father wanted a little girl
And my mother wanted twins

And my grandpa admired Hitler
So everything I did was wrong
And I'm gonna stop now
'Cause even though you're smilin'
I know ya hate this song

Yeah, and I know you're only listenin'
'Cause you don't want to hurt my feelins
And you're just waitin for me to leave
So you can laugh about my open fly

You put the poison in my coffee
You put the ground glass in my oatmeal
You put the spiders in my tennis shoes
And you shit in my pecan pie

I know! Don't deny it, I know! I know, I know
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Paranoid Lyrics

Shel Silverstein – Paranoid Lyrics