Jeff FoxworthyRedneck 12 Days Of Christmas

Charlie: woooo somebody done been to the Walmart Cody: Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas Charlie: Well you cleaned up, what you get? Cody: 5 stinky shirts, 4 dirty socks, 3 diecast skoal cars, 2 hand me down shoes, and a box set of "Hey Dude" DVDs. Charlie: Hey Cody, you got gypped, there's 12 days to Christmas Cody: I know that I got it covered, look over there in the corner Charlie: that's yours too? Cody: yeah, 12 empty cans of Pepsi, 11 wrestling headlocks, 10 rodeo tickets, 9 candy wrappers, 8 dollars in pennies, 7 rotten tomatoes, 6 empty cereal boxes, 5 stinky shirts, 4 dirty socks, 3 diecast skoal cars, 2 hand me down shoes, and a box set of "Hey Dude" DVDs Charlie: Man these ain't normal Christmas Presents Cody: Nah, they're Cody's gifts Charlie: Cody's gifts? Cody: Yeah you know like if you buy your own hammer that's driving home a nail, or if you can make the entire meal with some pudding. Perhaps if you think Laura Petrie is something you knock off a TV show, or if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights, or if you leave root beer and koshered pickles for Santa Claus Charlie: What's wrong with that? Cody: I didn't say anything wrong with it, it's hard to beat. 12 empty cans of Pepsi, 11 wrestling headlocks, 10 rodeo tickets, 9 candy wrappers, 8 dollars in pennies, 7 rotten tomatoes, 6 empty cereal boxes, 5 stinky shirts, 4 dirty socks, 3 diecast skoal cars, 2 hand me down shoes, and a box set of "Hey Dude" DVDs. Charlie: Well you know you can't really consider it a Christmas unless you go down to the restaurant and visit your daddy. Cody: You're not listening to me, get the hammer out of your hand. That's where the nine candy wrappers comes in, I'm gonna do it for you again, now listen. 12 empty cans of Pepsi, 11 wrestling headlocks, 10 rodeo tickets, 9 candy wrappers, 8 dollars in pennies, 7 rotten tomatoes, 6 empty cereal boxes, 5 stinky shirts, 4 dirty socks, 3 diecast skoal cars, 2 hand me down shoes, and a box set of "Hey Dude" DVDs Cody: Are you crying? Charlie: No, it's just my allergies Cody: Happy Holidays everybody!
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