Craig - Stephen Lynch
[00: 14]Everyone knows Jesus,
[00: 17]The guy who healed the lame.
[00: 21]Well, I am Jesus' brother,
[00: 24]Craig is my name.
[00: 31]Jesus is the Prince of Peace.
[00: 34]Jesus is the Lamb.
[00: 38]Jesus is the Son of God,
[00: 41]But Craig don't give a damn.
[00: 46]Because when Craig's in sight,
[00: 48]We'll party all damn night.
[00: 50]I don't turn water into wine,
[00: 51]But into cold Coors Light.
[00: 53]I'm not my brother, I know,
[00: 55]Don't walk on H2o,
[00: 56]But I got hydroponic shit that me and Judas grow.
[01: 01]I'm fuckin Craig.
[01: 04]I'm fuckin Craig.
[01: 07]I'm fuckin Craig.
[01: 11]Craig Christ.
[01: 19]I hang out with Lepors,
[01: 22]Barabbas, and Solemay.
[01: 26]Jesus' friends are called Apostles.
[01: 29]Those dudes are totally gay.
[01: 33]Jesus performs miracles,
[01: 36]From Galilee to Rome.
[01: 40]But it would be a miracle,
[01: 43]If he brought a fuckin lady home.
[01: 48]Because while Jesus is prayin,
[01: 50]Fuckin Craig is layin,
[01: 52]Every lady in the Testament,
[01: 54]You know what I'm sayin'?
[01: 55]I won't die for your sin,
[01: 57]Like my famous kin.
[01: 58]But if you've got a little sister,
[02: 00]Then there's room at this inn.
[02: 02]I'm fuckin Craig.
[02: 05]I'm fuckin Craig.
[02: 09]I'm fuckin Craig.
[02: 12]Craig Christ.
[02: 20]Jesus was our mothers fave,
[02: 24]All her love to him she gave.
[02: 27]But there's no sibling rivalry,
[02: 30]When he's nailed to that tree.
[02: 34]Yeah.
[02: 37]And now the question for you,
[02: 38]Is not "What Would Jesus Do?"
[02: 40]But where will you be,
[02: 41]When the Craig Machine comes partyin' through?
[02: 44]And if the Lord will allow,
[02: 45]You've got to ask yourself how,
[02: 47]And who and why and when and where is your messiah now?
[02: 50]It's fuckin Craig.
[02: 53]Fuckin Craig.
[02: 57]Fuckin Craig.
[03: 00]I'm fuckin Craig.
[03: 04]Craig Christ.
[03: 07]Craig Christ.
[03: 11]Craig Christ.
[03: 14]I'm fuckin Craig.
