Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade She worked the night shift Dishwater blonde, tall and fine She got a lot of tips Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff In a violent room Fighting with lovers past I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine Dorothy was fast Well, I ordered, "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't to hungry" Dorothy laughed She said "Sounds like a real man to me" Kinda cute, you want to take a bath? (do you want to, do you want to, bath) I said "Cool, but I'm leaving my pants on" (she say) "'cause I'm kind of going with someone" She said "Sounds like a real man to me" "Mind if I turn on the radio?" "Oh, my favorite song" she said And it was Joni singing "Help me I think I'm falling"
The phone rang and she said "Whoever's calling can't be as cute as you" Right then I knew I was through (Dorothy Parker was cool) My pants where wet, they came off But she didn't see the movie Cause she hadn't read the book first Instead she pretended she was blind An affliction brought on by a witch's curse Dorothy made me laugh (ha ha) I felt much better so I went back To the violent room (tell us what you did) Let me tell you what I did
I took another bubble bath with my pants on All the fighting stopped Next time I'll do it sooner This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker Well Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker Well