First we have the Fleetwoods, a very successful group Let's send them to Alaska to entertain our troops When they start in a-singin' and puttin' on their show The temperature around them will be forty-five below
Wo-wo-wo, I'm Mister Blue, when I say I'm freezin' Just turn around, head for the warmth of town I'm freezin' through and through Call me Mister Blue
Next the Hollywood Argyles, a mighty nice group of kids We'd like to send them roving on a downhill pair of skids
There's a group that we heard of that's-a awful hip Alley Oop-oop, oop, oop-oop We'd kinda like to send them on a little trip Alley Oop-oop, oop, oop-oop Where they oughta go we cannot tell Alley Oop-oop, oop, oop-oop But it's awful hot, and it rhymes with swell California?
And while they're down there working, they won't be all alone They'll run into another group that's even hot back home
They asked me how I knew Our career was through Oh, woah, I of course reply Something here inside Cannot be denied Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-wah Smoke gets in your... eyes...
Next we have the Freshmen A group that rates a cheer Of course, they've been Four Freshmen For almost twenty years It isn't that they're stupid Well, a little may be so They can't afford to graduate They're making too much dough
In this whole wide world Is there nowhere to send them? Is there no one place We can tell them to go?
Sailing, sailing, over the water blue Hail to the Kingston Trio, Cuba's calling you-ou-ou-ou...
It takes a worried man to sing a worried song It takes a worried man to sing a worried song It takes a worried man to sing a worried song I'm-a worried now, but I won't be worried long
We got the Kingston Trio some work on Cuba's shores They hung around Havana to do a few encores Castro said 'I like 'em. Let's hang 'em up some more.' Now he has all three hangin' permanently
Hang down the Kingston Trio Hang 'em from a tall oak tree Eliminate the Kingston Trio More money for you and me
Dion and the Belmonts are driving us to tears Let's send them up the river for about a thousand years While the kids are watching Dion singing about the stars The Belmonts are out in the parking lot stealing hubcaps off of cars
Each time I steal a hubcap it almost breaks my heart Why do I steal hubcaps, why did I have to start? Each night I ask the stars without fail Why must I be a teenager in jail?
Where these groups all come from, we really do not know But if they ever ask us we will tell them where to go!