Joanne
(Talking)
Mark?
Mark
Hi.
Joanne
I told her not to call you.
Mark
That's Maureen
But can I help since I'm here?
Joanne
I hired and engineer...
Mark
Great!
Well, nice to have met you.
Joanne
Wait!
She's three hours late.
(Singing)
The samples won't delay
But the cable -
Mark
There's another way.
Say something - Anything.
Joanne
Test - One, two, three...
Mark
Anything but that.
Joanne
This is weird...
Mark
It's weird.
Joanne
Very weird -
Mark
Fuckin' weird.
Joanne
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do.
Fighting with microphones,
Freezing down to my bones,
And to top it all off
I'm with you.
Mark
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
Joanne
As a matter of fact -
Mark
Honey, I know this act.
It's called, the 'Tango Maureen'.
The Tango Maureen...
It's a dark, dizzy
Merry-go-round.
As she keeps you dangling -
Joanne
You're wrong.
Mark
Your heart she is mangling -
Joanne
It's different with me -
Mark
And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn.
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound.
Joanne
I think I know what you mean...
Both
The Tango Maureen.
Mark
Has she ever
Pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'?
Joanne
Never.
Mark
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
Joanne
This is... Spooky.
Did you swoon
When she walked through the door?
Mark
Every time - so be... Cautious.
Joanne
Did she moon over other boys--?
Mark
More than moon -
Joanne
I'm getting... Nauseous.
Mark
(Talking)
Where'd you learn to tango?
Joanne
With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's.
And you?
Mark
With Nanette Himmelfarb.
The Rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.
It's hard to do this backwards.
Joanne
You should try it
In heels!
(Singing)
She cheated!
Mark
She cheated.
Joanne
Maureen cheated.
Mark
Fuckin' cheated!
Joanne
I'm defeated
I should give up right now.
Mark
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might.
Joanne
I'd fall for her still anyhow.
Both
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance.
Her grip of romance
Makes you fall!
Mark
So you think, 'might as well' -
Joanne
'Dance the Tango to Hell'!
Both
'At least I'll have Tangoed at all'
The tango Maureen...
Gotta dance til your diva is through.
You pretend to believe her...
'Cause in the end - you can't leave her.
But the end it will come,
Still you have to play dumb
Til you're glum and you bum
And turn blue.
Mark
Why do we love when she's mean?
Joanne
And she can be so obscene...
Mark
(Talking)
Try the mike.
Joanne
(Singing)
My Maureen (een, een, een...)
Mark
(Talking)
Patched.
Joanne
Thanks.
Mark
You know - I feel great now!
Joanne
I feel lousy.
(Answers phone)
Honey, we're... Pookie!
You never call me Pookie...
Forget it, we're patched.
Both
(Singing)
The Tango: Maureen!