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Correct Conspiracies Lyrics
Lyrics
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Artists: L
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Loudon Wainwright III
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Correct Conspiracies
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Lyrics:
We don't believe in “You know who” But we don't let the kids know it We're parents, who are grown ups There's a line we have to toe it But we're part of a conspiracy About this bearded big fat guy Who isn't real, who never lived Who's old, but doesn't die We went to the department store We climbed out on that limb Told the kids that it was “You know who” We said that bum was him Then we placed them on his knee To me, the knee seemed rather bony Happily they sat though chatting with that phony Told the kids we could provide the proof Deceit, how I hate it We put out the milk and cookies Yes, I admit I drank and ate it Then that fib about the North Pole Is if any Elves could live there We helped to write and send that letter Knowing full well, it went nowhere You know who comes down the chimney How could such a fat man fit? The whole thing is preposterous Yet we get children to buy it We have no shame, the lies pile up You think at least we'd bark When we sing of red nosed reindeer And snowmen who dance and talk Well it's just a harmless story A fairytales and Christmas fun Not unlike that other theory The one about Gods Son Where Angels talk to shepherds Wise men troop after a star And a Virgin has a baby Boy that's fetched pretty far But we adults buy that conspiracy We toe and swallow that old line Disappearing milk and cookies What about that bread and wine? It's enough to make you hesitate It's enough to give you pause Perhaps it's just as crucial Kids believe in “You know who”
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