top 100
·
top new
·
updates
·
submit lyrics
#
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
Correct Last Will And Temperment Lyrics
Lyrics
►
Artists: T
►
The Frantics
►
Correct Last Will And Temperment
Artist:
Song:
Comment:
Lyrics:
Last Will And Temperament By The Frantics Available on Frantic Times, cbc Records lm484, 1984 Executor: As the executor of Mr. Muldoon's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Muldoon's Last Will And Testament. Hedge: Well, get on with it, the bars open soon. Jenny: Oh, poor, dear Arthur! Waaaa! Hank: Oh, there, there, Jenny. Ralston: God, how predictably boring. Mrs. Mulroy: I never worked for a kinder man. Executor: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading. Ralston: I knew it. Hedge: Heh heh heh heh. Executor: "I, Arthur Durham Muldoon, being of sound mind and body..." Hedge: That's a laugh! Executor: "... do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To my overly emotional sister, Jenny..." Jenny: Waaaa! Hank: Jenny, darling, he's talking about us. Jenny: Oh. Executor: "... who grubbed with her husband, Hank, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..." Jenny: What? Executor: "... To Jenny, I leave a boot to the head." Jenny: A what? *Bonk! * Jenny: Ow! Hank: Jenny, are you okay? Executor: "... and another boot to her wimpy husband, Hank." *Bonk! * Hank: Ow! Hedge: Hahahahaha... Jenny: This is an outrage! Executor: "... ah, but still, you are my sister, you have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it..." Jenny: Oh, dear Arthur, he's too kind! Hank: Yes. Executor: "... I bequeath another boot to the head." Jenny: What? *Bonk! * Jenny: Ow! Hedge: Hahahaha... Executor: "And one more for the wimp." *Bonk! * Hank: Ow! Executor: "Next, to my alcoholic brother..." Hedge: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head! Executor: "... to dear Hedge, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..." Hedge: I'm coverin' up my head! Executor: "... I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey." Hedge: Really? Executor: "And a boot to the head." *Bonk! * Hedge: oh! Executor: "And another for Jenny and the wimp." *Bonk! * Jenny: Oh! *Bonk! * Hank: Ow! Executor: "Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Ralston..." Ralston: This is so predictable... Executor: "... I leave a boot to the head." *Bonk! * Ralston: Uh! I knew it. Executor: "And one for Jenny and the wimp." *Bonk! * Jenny: Ah! *Bonk! * Hank: oh! Executor: "This takes care of family obligations. And now, to Mrs. Mulroy..." Mrs. Mulroy: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'. Executor: "... who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea..." Mrs. Mulroy: Oh, I didn't mind. Executor: "To Mrs. Mulroy, I bequeath a boot to the head." *Bonk! * Mrs. Mulroy: oh! Executor: "And one for Jenny and the wimp." *Bonk! * Jenny: ah! *Bonk! * Hank: oh! Executor: "And so, to my cat Mittens, I leave my entire vast... boot to the head!" *Bonk! * *Meow! * Executor: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head... but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers!" Ooohhh! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "... and I leave my entire estate of million to the people of Calgary so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh. Hank: Is that it? Ralston: That's it? Hedge: That's disgraceful. Executor: There's one last thing for everyone. Hedge: Cover your heads, everybody! Executor: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream." Hank: Ice cream? Hedge: Ice cream? Ralston: Ice cream, that's all? Executor: That's all. Mrs. Mulroy: Well, what flavor is it? Executor: Boot to the head! *Bonk! * *Bonk! * *Bonk! * *Bonk! * All: ow!
add rows