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Correct Everyone's A Little Bit Racist Lyrics
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Correct Everyone's A Little Bit Racist
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Princeton: Say, Kate, can I ask you a question? Kate Monster: Sure! Princeton: Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs? Kate Monster: Uh huh. Princeton: Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster. Kate Monster: Right. Princeton: You're both Monsters. Kate Monster: Yeah. Princeton: Are you two related? Kate Monster: What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist! Princeton: Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking! Kate Monster: Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all Monsters are related. What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh? Princeton: No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist. Kate Monster: I should say so. You should be much more Careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race. Princeton: Well, look who's talking! Kate Monster: What do you mean? Princeton: What about that special Monster School you told me about? Kate Monster: What about it? Princeton: Could someone like me go there? Kate Monster: No, we don't want people like you- Princeton: You see?! You're a little bit racist. Kate Monster: Well, you're a little bit too. Princeton: I guess we're both a little bit racist. Kate Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do... Princeton: But I guess it's true. Kate Monster: Between me and you, I think Both: Everyone's a little bit racist Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go Around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find No one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact We all should face Everyone makes judgments Based on race. Princeton: Now not big judgments, like who to hire Or who to buy a newspaper from - Kate Monster: No! Princeton: No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican Busboys should learn to speak goddamn English! Kate Monster: Right! Both: Everyone's a little bit racist Today. So, everyone's a little bit racist Okay! Ethinic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because They're based on truth. Don't take them as Personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them - So relax! Princeton: All right, stop me if you've heard this one. Kate Monster: Okay! Princeton: There's a plan going down and there's only One paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest... Kate Monster: And a black guy! Gary Coleman: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate? Kate Monster: Uh... Gary Coleman: You were telling a black joke! Princeton: Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes. Gary Coleman: I don't. Princeton: Well, of course you don't - you're black! But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right? Gary Coleman: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks! Princeton: Now, don't you think that's a little racist? Gary Coleman: Well, damn, I guess you're right. Kate Monster: You're a little bit racist. Gary Coleman: Well, you're a little bit too. Princeton: We're all a little bit racist. Gary Coleman: I think that I would Have to agree with you. Princeton/Kate Monster: We're glad you do. Gary Coleman: It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist - All right! Kate Monster: All right! Princeton: All right! Gary Coleman: All right! Bigotry has never been Exclusively white All: If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, Even though we all know That it's wrong, Maybe it would help us Get along. Princeton: Oh, Christ do I feel good. Gary Coleman: Now there was a fine upstanding black man! Princeton: Who? Gary Coleman: Jesus Christ. Kate Monster: But, Gary, Jesus was white. Gary Coleman: No, Jesus was black. Kate Monster: No, Jesus was white. Gary Coleman: No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black- Princeton: Guys, guys... Jesus was Jewish! Brian: Hey guys, what are you laughing about? Gary Coleman: Racism! Brian: Cool. Christmas Eve: brian! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs! Princeton: What's that mean? Brian: Um, recyclables. Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak? Kate Monster: Oh, come off it, Brian! Everyone's a little bit racist. Brian: I'm not! Princeton: Oh no? Brian: Nope! How many Oriental wives Have you got? Christmas Eve: What? Brian! Princeton: Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American! Christmas Eve: I know you are no Intending to be But calling me Oriental - Offensive to me! Brian: I'm sorry, honey, I love you. Christmas Eve: And I love you. Brian: But you're racist, too. Christmas Eve: Yes, I know. The Jews have all The money And the whites have all The power. And I'm always in taxi-cab With driver who no shower! Princeton: Me too! Kate Monster: Me too! Gary Coleman: I can't even get a taxi! All: Everyone's a little bit racist It's true. But everyone is just about As racist as you! If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, And everyone stopped being So pc Maybe we could live in - Harmony! Christmas Eve: Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!
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