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Correct Rockers To Help Explain Whitewater Lyrics
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Saturday Night Live
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Correct Rockers To Help Explain Whitewater
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(feat. Rob Schneider, Norm MacDonald, Jay Mohr, Sarah Silverman, David Spade, Michael McKean, Tim Meadows, Phil Hartman, Melanie Hutsell, Julia Sweeney, Mike Myers, Kevin Nealon, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Ellen Cleghorne & Cindy Crawford) (Spoken Intro) [CINDY CRAWFORD] Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford for MTV News! For the last several weeks, the story of President Clinton's Whitewater scandal has dominated the headlines. We at MTV initially thought we weren't going to be able to cover the Whitewater affair at all, mostly because many of our viewers, myself included, don't really understand Whitewater, or even know what it is. But that's all changed, now that some of the biggest names in rock have come together to sing a song about it. Let's take a look (Song) [TINA TURNER] Back in 1978, the Clintons bought some land to sell vacation homes. 230 acres, to be exact [GARTH BROOKS] They borrowed two or three thousand dollars with their friends the MacDougals and formed the Whitewater Development Corporation [TINA TURNER] And that's a fact! [JERRY GARCIA] In 1980, McDougal buys the Madison Bank & Trust. He lends his partner Hillary 30 grand to build a model home on a Whitewater lot [MICHAEL BOLTON] He loans her money to get around laws which prevents him from loaning money to himself or his company [JERRY GARCIA] And that's the plot [THE JUDDS] It's very complicated! It's hard to understand! We'll try to walk to walk you through it Come on and take my hand! [AARON NEVILLE] In 1984, Whitewater helps Bill pay back a $20,000 personal loan to the Cherry Valley Bank and the Clintons claim the payment as an interest deduction on their tax return [ELTON JOHN] That's an illegal deduction, but the Clintons blame their accountants for the mistake [AARON NEVILLE] This intriguing turn [ELVIS COSTELLO] McDougal buys back Clinton's loan and hires Hillary and her law firm to represent his bank. Then, she helps Whitewater buy a new piece of land with an illegal $300,000 loan [KURT COBAIN] McDougal says he shipped the Clintons all the files to the governors mansion, and the Clintons say they never got them [ELVIS COSTELLO] These guys should talk on the phone [ALL] It's very tough to figure Where it all went wrong But draw your own conclusion From listening to our song [CHER] Madison Bank goes under with $60 million missing. McDougal is arrested. And, in a conflict of interest, Hillary's law firm is hired for a suit against the bank that it used to represent [ANTHONY KIEDIS] McDougal is acquitted, but claims the Clintons lost much less than the $68,000 they claimed [CHER] And in 1992, Clinton ran for president [ALL] It's really quite a puzzle Who did what to who But we gotta get a handle It's up to me and you [K.D. LANG] In 1993, Vince Foster, the Clintons' friend and attorney who worked at the same firm as Hillary filed long overdue taxes for Whitewater, which contradicted msot of the established financial numbers. After his suicide, important papers were removed from his office [AXL ROSE] White House staffers met with the Treasury Department, and then Janet Reno named a special prosecutor and the House began deciding whether to hold hearings and what kind to hold. So finally the President had to being in Lloyd Cutler, an old Democratic hand, to restore some order to his administration [ALL] We don't have all the answers Perhaps we never will The only ones who'll ever know Are Hillary and Bill [ELVIS COSTELLO] And McDougal and his wife [JERRY GARCIA] And Webster Hubbell and Margaret Williams [AXL ROSE] And Vince Foster (Spoken Outro) [CINDY CRAWFORD] I've learned more from that song than all years at MTV! Live, from New York, it's SATURDAY NIGHT!!
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