I went so numb on Christmas day I couldn't feel my hands or feet I shouldn't have come She made me pay For gleaming with Donald down her street She put blame on him And shame on me She made it all seem so tawdry and cheap "Oh, let's be nice, Mama, open up your gifts You know, happiness is the best face lift"
I mean, after all, she introduced us Oh, but she regrets that now Shacked up downtown Making love without a license Same old sacred cow She said, "Did you come home to disgrace us?" I said, "Why is this joy not allowed? For God's sake, I'm middle-aged, Mama And time moves swift And you know happiness is the best face lift"
Oh, love takes so much courage Love takes so much shit He said "You've seen too many movies, Joni" She said "Snap out of it!" Oh, the cold winds blew at our room with a view All helpful and hopeful and candlelit We kissed the angels and the moon eclipsed You know, Happiness is the best face lift
We pushed the bed up to the window To see the Christmas lights On the east bank across the steaming river Between the bridges lit up Paris-like This river has run through both our lives Between these banks of our continuing delights Bless us, don't let us lose the drift You know, Happiness is the best face lift.