Welcome to another exciting episode of Delray's number 1 game show: The Joker's Wild! Shaggy, tell us something about tonight's contestants.
Ha ha ha Hey, muddafuckas! Get ready for the killer show for this bitch! We Got a cop, We got a judge, and we got a redneck. So step the fuck up and play The Joker's Wild! (Woo Hoo!)
Everybody smile! Guess who's back on your underground dial! (who?) It's the game show host wit the most (Violent J) And tonight we gonna have a little pig roast. (hehe-huh) Top copper! It's been a long while! Lace up your boots and come on down the aisle. Mr. Big Man packin' that steel. But tonight you ain't shit. Now spin the fuckin' wheel! Looks good nice try! Now let's see just how you gon' die! Lucky, lucky, it landed on Carpenter Jed. He just pounds nails in your forehead. The pig got lucky that time. But let's take a look. Who's next down the line. Oh, the 43rd District Judge. Hey pal! Remember me? You threw me in jail! Take a spin or I'll snap your neck. The clicker's landed. Let me check. The Jookie, hey it ain't bad at all. We just cut your face off and slap your skull. Who's next for the games and fun? Hillbilly Earl, C'mon down! Run! The redneck that sic'ed his dog on me. Now that's gonna cost you a spin buddy! Spin around and around it goes! Staple your lips shut, cut off your toes! Then I throw your corpse on top of the pile. Anything goes on the Joker's Wild.
"Tell me. Who killed seventeen people and later ate their dead bodies?" "Jeffrey Dalmer?" "No! The correct answer would be your mother!" "Wha'!" "Shaggs?"
"Aw shit, motherfuckas. Get ready for round 2 in this bitch! So if you want Your fuckin' Neck bone chopped, step the fuck up and play The Joker's Wild!"
Ya like big money and prizes don't ya? You'd probably kill for a big prize won't ya? You little bitch! It's your turn to spin. (ding ding) "Free money!" Now spin again. Oh goody, now unzip your drawers. I'm finna clip this chain on your balls! Raise you upside down for the big batta. Now we bust your head like a piniata! (Yeah!) The audience loves that shit! Listen to 'em cheer when your forehead splits Wait, cut to a break! Oh shit da-damn uh, we got guts on the camera.
"The Joker's Wild is brought to you by:" "Faygo!" Everybody sing! "Send ya' momma straight up to tha sto'! Tell that bitch to bring home a Faygo!"
Welcome back to the carnival show! Here's your chance for the big money Cash Flow! Hit your buzzer, pull your lever! Joker, Joker, Lemon! We sever your head! Pick a door! 1, 2, or 3 It's the same behind every door, me! There's no escape. Now gimme that bald head! The crowd can't help, look, their all dead! And they just watching their doom. We broadcast from hell to your living room. I ripped off his neck bone, wicked clown style. Anything goes on The Joker's Wild.
"It's time to play hit or miss! Contestant #1, open your mouth! Contestant #2, Get ready! Will he hit or miss?" ~spear hitting~ "He Hit!" Yeah! "What's next?!" "We got money, we got cash, we got prizes! We got blood, we got Guts, we Got Naked Dead bitches! On The Joker's Wild!"
I got my yellow suit, and my purple tie. Somebody's gonna die! Oh, my! It's Mr. Thompson my next door neighbor. Always bitchin'! Yellin' from the kitchen, window. See he died then he went to hell, though. We meet again! I got my own game show. Spin the wheel 'cause I just can't fuck around. "Bonus round!"
Oh, shit! The end of the game. Bonus round. We goin out with a bang! You got a chance for money and prizes! You got a chance at death too! So get ready, I'm comin' at ya fast! Your chance for freedom at last! Four questions. So are ya ready Jack? "Uh, I-I think so" Load the gat!
"The governor" "EatsButt?" "Yes! The square root of 2" "Uh" "Correct! Nut sacks don't belong in" "Butt cracks?" "Rich boys eat" "Caviar?" "No! The correct answer is 'bullets'!"
"Oh ho ho! Oho Geez! Oh! Well, this is Big Chipperwinks saying 'so long' Till Next week Folks! Seeya later! Goodbye!" ~laughing in the background~