Ladies and gentlemenThe host of phat, uhh, phat or wack? Uhh your friend and mineBink chipperwink (applause)Hello everybodyI’m bink chipperwinkAnd this is phat or wack!The rules are simpleEach one of our teams will play musicFrom their upcoming albumAnd the studio audience will judge by applauseNow let’s meet our contestantsTeam number 1 from the southwest side of detroitThey are violent j and shaggy 2 dopeThe insane clown posse (boo!)And team number 2 from the east side of detroitThey are jamie madrox and the monoxide childTwiztid (boo!)Now let’s play phat or wackAlright team number 1 firstThe insane clown posse, are you ready? Yeah, yeah I’m ready bink, we readyWhat song are you gonna play for us? Terrible, naww ummFuck the world, yeah yeahUhh, bink fuck the world, yupLadies and gentlemenThis is insane clown posse fuck the worldIt’s your turn to judgePhat or wack? Fuck, fuck that shitFuck give it to meIf I only could I’d set the world on fire (x3)Say fuck the worldFuck the world!Fuck ’em allFuck ’em allFuck you, fuck me, fuck usFuck tom, fuck mary, fuck gusFuck dairiusFuck the west coastAnd fuck everybody on the eastEat shit and dieOr fuck off at leastFuck pre-schoolers, fuck rulersKings and queens and gold jewelersFuck wine coolersFuck chickens, fuck ducksEverybody in your crew sucksPunk muthafucksFuck critics, fuck your reviewEven if you like me, fuck you!Fuck your mom, fuck your mom’s mamaFuck the beastie boys and the daili llamaFuck the rain forest, fuck a forest gumpYou probably like it in the rumpFuck a shoe pumpFuck the real dealAnd fuck all the fakesFuck all 52 states, ooohAnd fuck...(buzz) well, that sound means that your time is outLadies and gentlemen of the audienceIf you thought was phat let’s hear a round of applause(crickets chirp)Ewww, I’m sorryWell, that could mean only one thingThat shit was wack!(applause)Ok we’re gonna move right along hereTeam number 2, twiztidAre you gentlemen ready? Yeah we straightOk what’s your first selection for us today? Hey, hey man they just hoed my shitFuck the world was the shitDiemuthafuckadieNaww, uh uhWe gonna come with 2nd hand sec, this on? 2nd hand smoke, yeah yeah 2nd hand smokeAlright ladies and gentlemen prepare yourselfThis is twiztid, 2nd hand smokeYou be the judgePhat or wack? Free your mindI represent the east side, no peaceFuck the policeWe tell you to increase the deceased at leastA grown man tellin you something that he believePractice to deceive, no more tricks up my sleeveWhat the fuck bitch, chuck bitchWhy you talkin shit? Better duck bitchBefore your dome get hitThis shit is twiztid deeper than that old french braidStickier than jam and jelly phased, kick itEverybody else real talkin bout somethingWhat you thought you heard bitch,Can it, cause your frontinDead wrongDinner table conversationsLeavin’ you pistol-whipped in the corner with abrasionsPart of the contamination of mind stateSleep in a dream, hopin it’s gone when I awakeMama think I’m a play on play serial killaFruitloop biting my mind like godzillaWe survive like catapillas in cocoons and casketsStretch the industry like elasticSo fantastic, like the newport cigarette that I smokeHit the motherfucka till I chokeI brag and I boast about nothinDeath, dying, and hoes fuckinSo understand that he’s saying somethingNever be heard I’m underground with the dirt and grimeSmashin heads be my reason for rhymeI’m on time like a motherfuckaLeavin you hangin in the forestStandin in some comfortable shifts like chuck norrisCheck the chorusSecond hand smoke when you breathRemember what I told you always believeYou relieve on the monoxide child and wildTravel the world on nine cloud screaming loudFree your mindBreath it in second hand smokeFree your mindBreath it in second hand smokeYou phony bitches wanna shut...(buzz)Oh times upAudience phat or wack? Applause please(one clap, then wind blowing)Ohh I’m sorryIt seems that this audience also feelsThat shit was wack!Personally I think they both suck(applause)Ok back to contestants number 1Uhh hopefully this time gentlemenYou’ll come with somethinA little more likable for me and the audience(they fuckin suck)Are you ready? Yeah man c’monYeah we ready fat bitchWhat’s the name of your selection? Uhh hold on hold on uhh I have the bomb shit dawgThe shaggy show, can’t failThat’s wack dawgAight then what? Mufuckin terrible...Aight hey we want you to play uhh terrible, binkHere it is, insane clown posse, terriblePhat or wack? MuthafuckaYou don’t know shit do ya? You wouldn’t know shitIf it ripped into your ugly bitch ass faceYou ain’t even begun to expierence drama muthafucka your mamaYour muthafuckin big fat chicken faced assed mamaDon’t even know about this drama, muthafuckaOh my God look at that, turn it up pleasePoor nancy kerrigan’s sweet little kneesSomebody took a black thing and went thumpThat’s terrible we heard about it for monthsWhat about that one nobody guy that they foundDead in the grassWith his dick in his assUnless there was moreBut you won’t recallCause michael jackson squeezed upOn some little kids ballsWhat you consider dramaAin’t all thatIt’s just that your wackWith your intergalactic satellite data compressYes, but we can’t feed the homelessAnd then oj’s wack story unfoldedEverybody watched that while okalahoma exploded900 good reasons why this world don’t really careThats what it costs for a wheel chair!What you know bout terrible? Terrible, you don’t know what’s terribleTerrible, what you know bout terrible? Terrible, you don’t know what’s terrible...(buzz)There’s the buzzerAudience phat or wack? That shit was wack!Ohh you guys fuckin suckYour momma sucks my dickOk we’ll move back over here to team number 2Twiztid are you ready? Man fuck you we readyDo you have a song selected? Yeah we got a songWhat you wanna go withMan it don’t matterThis muthafucka (they booing everything)Yeah that’s what I’m sayinRock the dead, fuck itBink bitchBink bitchFuck youThis is twiztid rock the deadPhat or wack? Wake up, float to the skyBring the wicked shit and the dead will ariseWake up, float to the skyBring the wicked shit and the dead will ariseCome onSpace and beyondMind dumpin in the yardI stoles your headstone from your grave plotConscience and confusedSeen tomorrows dreams on tonights newsFallin through a hole in the skyWill I die? You know the time multiplied with this life, love, and liesSteppin in the darknessWalkin through my conscienceLike an android I remain heartlessUnderground, and mental know me wellBring it to the white lights of the depths of hellWalk through the time flux hand and hand with clear mindChords are harmonious like the rhythm of windchimesPeel back the rhyme and examine the fruitRotten to the core buried in they best suitsMaggots crawling on they face,Eyes sunk in they headThrow your fuckin arms up and rock the deadWake up, float to the skyBring the wicked shit and the dead will ariseWake up, float to the skyBring the wicked shit and the dead will ariseCome onGot me a mic, and now we ache like the deadAnd all we wanna do is rock the deadSo many thoughts runnin all through my headBut the only one that’s clear is rock the...(buzz)Time’s upLadies and gentlemenPhat or wack? (silence)Ohh as that was some sort of surpriseThis audience feelsThat shit was wack!Ok we’re gonna mosey on back over to team number 1The insane clown posseFella’s are you ready? Yeah, yeah we readyBut I want uhh everyone in the studio audienceTo know y’all can suck my dick!That’s great, but uhh save the drama for your mommaMan I’m bout to bring the drama to your muthafuckin chinPunk ass bitchI’m scared, bring itNow this is your last chanceDo you have a selection ready? Man fuck itLet’s hit em up with another love songYeah they’ll probably like the pussy shitUhh another love song bitchOk ladies and gentlemenThis is insane clown posse another love songPhat or wack? Yeah, I mean I hear what your sayinI mean you got carried away in the momentAnd I could forgive you...i could do thatI could do anything if I wanted toI could buy you a lexus truckWith a white leather interior (I could)I could kill off some bears and dogs and shitJust to make you a fur coatI could love you and treat you with class (oh yeah)And have babies fallin all out your assBut thinkin about thatI feel I’d rather kill youCause I got you in my carYou ain’t goin no were bitch your deadI’d rather cut that neck in halfI’d rather choke out that bitch assI’d rather chop and never stopBecause you fucked my homieI’d rather cut that neck in halfI’d rather choke out that bitch assI’d rather chop and never stopBecause you fucked my homie...(buzz)Well that was a good song, (fart) notWell audience you built the casketTime to nail it shutPhat or wack? That shit was wack!Well that’s gonna do it for insane clown posse it’s time for you guys to hit the doorCause you’re definitely wackMan fuck you, fuck the show, fuck the audience (ok)All y’all can fuck offMan fuck y’allYo jeckel brothers out may 25th juggalosYeah, yeah, yeahFuck off, fuck off, fuck offAlright don’t let the door hit you on the assWe’ve seen it all beforePeople come here so eagerAnd leave so bitter (hahaha)On to team number 2Ok twiztid here’s your last chanceAre you ready? Man we should fuck you upNegative muthafuckaWhat’s the selection you’re gonna play? Uhh we got whatthefuckUmm there’s a few but I’m tellin you manThere’s crazy booin, crazyI’m like it don’t matterHow does it feel? bink bitchHow does it feel? It probably feels wackLadies and gentlemenHow does it feel? Phat or wack? How does it feel to be youHow does it feel to feel the way you doIt’s so decisiveAnd I don’t care if you like or you hate meI know you muthafuckas bout to underrate meHow does it feel to be youHow does it feel to feel the way you doIt’s so decisiveAnd I don’t care if you like or you hate meI know you muthafuckas bout to underrate meYou label me a paranoid schizophrenicKnown on this planet for 2 thingsTalkin shit and automaticMind gets transferred in little walks through the woodsBury you alive if I couldRobin through the hood with a body in the trunkUnidentified because he’s known as a chumpI hear him keep talking junk in my earBut nobody else can hearI look around and I’m feeling weirdPalms are sweaty I’m about to black outLast chance but nothing could stop this twiztid sproutI’m all about mad cussingFuck you and the red martianPeon wrecking and skull crushingTurning bitches to dust and when I recite you folks dieLike I creep in the night, I let your soul flySo high that I never touch groundMake it so your bodies never foundAnother unsolved mysteryLooking for some nobodyEvery single night on tvTry to get me to seeMy eyes closed and rolled backHoldin a thought deep in my mind about a car jackAnother break down in the middle of the streetPeople just kept moving they feetTreat me like a freak, so how am supposed to actSo when you see me muthafucka...(buzz)There’s the buzzerAudience how did that feel? That shit was wack!Tell me about itTwiztid beat it (man you beat it)Get the hell outta here (naww fuck that)We been here all dayThree strikes and your outJune 22nd fool twiztid mostastelessYeah I know, go aheadYeah you know, you don’t know nuthin bitchLet the door closeOk ladies and gentlemenWe’re not gonna leave you with all that wacknessSo as the credits rollWe’d like you to enjoyThe all time grand champion danny kNow this is what real music is aboutUntil next timeI’m burt chipperwolfAnd this has been phat or wack(some wack rapping)Promotional consideration paid forBy island slash psychopathicIf for any reason you should care for or likeOne of the groups that was wackMight I suggest you go pick up one of their albumsThe insane clown posse uhhEntitled the amazing jeckel brothersWhich will be in stores nationwide may 25thOr twiztid mostastelessWhich will be in stores nationwide june 22ndAs always we’d like to thank you for yourParticipation in watching this fine television program that’s copyright 1999
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Phat Or Wack? Lyrics