First Day Out
"Got another funky rhyme
Another funky, funky rhyme
Got another funky rhyme
Another funky rhyme
Another funky, funky rhyme"
"Aw shit, man, that's the ICP!!!
This is my jam!!!
I'm on a psychedelic, motherfucking inter-gallactic void G!!!
Well, they let the gate up so I bail
It's been six months pick me up from the county jail
With a smog mother payin' my dues
Steel toliets, worn blankets, and rubber shoes
But I ain't naggin'
Here come the fellas I can hear the muffler draggin'
Ain't been the car long
And the Faygo is almost gone
My nuts are kinda hard so I need a mate
So my homeboy's cousin set me up with a blind date
She said "Pick me up at three"
Can't bitch, the bus don't ride your street, ho
We gonna eat at Mexican Village
Take a cab and I'll pay the tab
And when she showed, well, I'll be damned
Left my wallet at home on the TV stand
Have her pay him and for dinner too
The knot in my sock, it done bit you
She's all prettied up for nothing
I'm smelling like shit and my chin is scruffing
And I'm chewing on my food like a pitbull
Cause I won't front for the ho
Stuck my face in a bowl of soup
And just sucked it all up threw my missin' tooth
The bitch jumped up with a boom
"I have to fix my hair" and broke to the bathroom
She's got the tab, so I go for mine
And order up some '52 vintage wine
Hey, Louie, bring a fuckin' steak with that
Motherfuckers like jail say fuck dat
She's back now and her hair ain't fixed
Probably took a long greasy-ass smelly shit
I ain't saying nothing though
I ain't saying nothing bout the funkin' ho
What's up bitch, I'm ready to break
How long can one fat bitch take?
Quite snacking and pay me saps
Cause we goin' home to meet her pops
"So Joe, what is that you do for a living?"
"Aww, come on pops, you seen me selling rocks on
Verner and Springwell. Matter fact, I think I sold
to that fat bitch in the kitchen"
Your dad's really cool sweetheart
I mean him letting me use his car
And he slipped me a fifty
Violent J is kinda nifty
If I'd a hit you'd be home through
But now your coming home with me
Dad I gotta bitch in the bedroom
Take your ass to the bar and don't come home soon
Now the juggla's known to smack hoes
But I need the shot too
So I switch to the mack mode
"Now woman, you know I love you
So why don't you just let me fuck you
Now bitch, I know you's a freak
So let me get a little kiss on your cheek
And a fuck to go with that
Come on, nympho, let me hit that
Tell ya what you let me stick it
And I gotta left over piece of chicken for ya
Ya little sewer skank
Ya nasty little pipe-smoking sac-chasing ho
And that was that
A little smooth talking she was on her back
And I'm finally sticking
Dump ya, and I'm eating my chicken
You'll never guess what
My first day out and I caught my nut"
First day out and I caught my nut