Everything your teacher says Is proved to be a fable There never was an Arthur Nor the knights, nor a round table The lady of the lake Was just a made up story too I hate to disappoint you all But it's not true! It's not true!
Teacher, though you jibber You're just a great big fibber There was no Excalibur Galahad? No such lad Lancelot? Lance-not Guinevere? Dear, oh dear! Look at me, I'm real enough! Not true, Merlin! Disappear! There were no wizards, so it's clear That it's not true!
While we're on the subject I'm afraid I must confess Though dick Turpin was a highwayman He never owned Black Bess And Tutankhamen's tomb Was never hit by any curse There never was a dragon slain by George It gets worse!
Pirates never made their victims Walk the plank on ships Sir Walter Raleigh wasn't first To bring back spuds or chips Robin Hood and Marian A made up story too Outlaws out in Nottingham? It's not true! It's not true!
Teach, you're such a liar Your pants are catching fire There never was a Friar Tuck Viking hat? No horn on that King Alfred's cake? Big mistake It never fried? The old books lied Frankly, I deplore ya I hope these kids ignore ya 'Cause in fact, Queen Victoria Never said 'We are not amused'
(Your children think I said what? They think you said 'we are not amused', your Highness Really? That's quite funny, isn't it?)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Ha, ha ha! It's not true, it's not true! It's not true, it's not true! It's not true, it's not true! It's not true!