Things don't look to good to me
I feel I'm out of luck
And all because of swollen glands
And just one stupid fuck

This wacko came from alabammy
That's not where it's at
And now your jock's been chasing me 'round
With a great big baseball bat

Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat, no

Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat, no

Well I was in the mood for some lovin' bulk
Not a rassling match with a some big hulk
And this here dude he was an uncool cat
And he beat me by my head with a baseball bat

Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat, no

Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat, no

Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat, no

Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat, no

When I got up from being beat to the ground
I started itchin' around like a blue-tick hound
And I was aghast at what I found
The latest social disease that's been going around

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat, bitch

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat, bitch

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat, bitch

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat, bitch