Dear Abbey,
Got a problem. I'm a decent, underpaid hardworking county coroner.
It's important that my family eat meat at least 3 times a week.
But we can't afford to with the prices the way they are. So I bring home choice cuts
from my autopsy subjects. Just mix in the Tuna Helper...and TA-DA!!
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/dead+kennedys/dear+abby_20038129.html ]
The Whole family thinks my new meals are delicious.
They ask me what's my secret. Abby, I think they are getting suspicious.
My smart ass 8 year old keeps asking,
"Where's all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge"
If they found out the truth I don't think they'll understand. Abby, what do
I tell my family?


DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult your clergyman. Make sure
the body is blessed and everything should be just fine...just fine