Dear Abbey,
Got a problem. I'm a decent, underpaid hardworking county coroner.
It's important that my family eat meat at least 3 times a week.
But we can't afford to with the prices the way they are. So I bring home choice cuts
From my autopsy subjects. Just mix in the Tuna Helper... And ta-Da!!

The Whole family thinks my new meals are delicious.
They ask me what's my secret. Abby, I think they are getting suspicious.
My smart ass 8 year old keeps asking,
"Where's all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge"
If they found out the truth I don't think they'll understand. Abby, what do
I tell my family?

Dear reaganomics victim: Consult your clergyman. Make sure
The body is blessed and everything should be just fine... Just fine
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Dear Abby Lyrics

Dead Kennedys – Dear Abby Lyrics

Songwriters: Darren Henley, Eric Reed Boucher, Geoffrey Lyall, Raymond John Pepperelle
Dear Abby lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

Lyrics term of use