Once I read a book And this is what it said If your music has a beat Then you're gonna wind up dead
It doesn't really matter if It's Christian or not If it's syncopated rhythm Then your soul is gonna rot
And this book was called â??Ha! You're gonna burnâ?? And in the second chapter I went on to learn
Take two houseplants And put them to the test Set them both in front of speakers And let the music do the rest The first one you play Mozart Or something lovely like that The second one you play that Petra or that MegaDeth Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is
So I took my two houseplants And I put them to the test Set them both in front of speakers To let the music do the rest I powered up my Pioneers To let the music roar But twenty minutes later Someone's knocking at my door I opened up the door And there may neighbor stood He said, â??Man, I'd like to get some sleep if you think I couldâ?? I said, â??Man, can't you see here I've got this moral dilemma that I got to get clearâ?? He said, â??What kind of moral dilemma could you have at this time of night that could make me so angry that I just want to fightâ??
So I pointed to the page In that open book That had a pictured of a potted plant, and I said, â??Go have a lookâ?? And he read
Take two houseplants And put them to the test Set them both in front of speakers And let the music do the rest The first one you play Mozart Or something lovely like that The second one you play that Petra or that MegaDeth Doesn't really matter What kind of rock it is
â??First of all,â?? he said, â??that's Wagner that you're playing I've never heard of Petra And isn't MegaDeth all dead. And secondly, emphatically, He asked me, â??What's the sense Of hanging out with houseplants when, hey, I live right across the fenceâ??
And I thought to myself You know, that's a good point
So I took my two houseplants And I put them both back outside And me and my neighbor Well, we went out for a drive We talked about all the things That really matter most Like life and love and happiness And then the Holy Ghost
And now my two houseplants They sit out in the sun As for me and my neighbor Well our friendship has become A meaningful relationship That's headed straight to heaven
But as for now We like to sit around and listen To Audio Adrenaline Cranked to eleven